Saturday, January 22, 2011

UNLOADING OLD BAGGAGE




HAPPY NEW YEAR!


I've been taking a break from blogging, but I'm back and plan to celebrate a lot more in 2011!

In order to celebrate more, I thought it appropriate to "unload" some of the baggage that has followed me into the new year.  Hence, the reason for this post.



THE PRIVATE PITY PARTY

We have all been hurt by the "slings and arrows" of Life.
And, as with all members of the animal kingdom,
we need to go to ground
and nurse our wounds.
The Place can be anywhere that brings comfort (a womb of sorts).
The Dress can be a ratty old bathrobe, a well worn sweater,
a childhood "blankie",
or the remnants of a departed loved ones' clothing.
The Time can be an hour, a day, or a week,
but it does not overstay its welcome.

I'm sure that you can tell that I , indeed,  have experienced the Private Pity Party.



HOW TO THROW A PITY PARTY

As with private parties, we have all been subjected to extended (months/years) public pity parties.
Having been selected to take part in an ongoing party,
I decided to have a little fun and become a
 Pity Party Planner!



THE INVITATION

Formal invitations may be sent out.
It is recommended that you do not invite
family members (see Entertainment section).
Please do not request an RSVP
(because nobody would come).

It is also acceptable to invite any and every person that you meet
 or speak to on the phone (hairdressers, bartenders, taxi drivers, telemarketers, etc.).



DECORATIONS

Decorations can be kept simple.
However, strategically placed PAST DUE bills, medical bills,
 x-rays,  a vast array of pill bottles,
 or pictures of your mother-in-law, ex-spouse (or any other
relative who has done you wrong)
can be effective.
Flowers made from Kleenex also add a festive touch.



REFRESHMENTS

No food is necessary
because Pity feeds on itself.
However,
you might serve water or other beverages
since self-pity is a "bitter pill" to swallow.



ENTERTAINMENT

The host will gladly provide the entertainment.
However,
guests may be allowed to participate
by writing down all of their grievances since childhood
to provide hours of entertainment.
You can also record or video tape the party
so that it can be relived time and time again.


Today I Celebrate
Turning aNegative Experience into Fun!



Please add your own suggestions or comments!










1 comment:

MadSnapper said...

you are BACK! yipeee. and in fine fettle I might say. love the pity party ditty. i think i reconize Lewis park in the first few barking adventures and the last few selby. you do have a talent for writing. and you did make me smile while reading.